Transforming Resentment and Anger into Compassion
The problem with most anger management programs is that they try to teach you to stop and think, then make a better choice when anger kicks in. The problem is that you are already angry. Stop and think is too late. You need an intervention that activates as quickly as getting angry, which happens in nanoseconds. We teach a cognitive conditioning technique that intervenes as quickly as you get angry.
We usually get angry when something happens that causes us to feel devalued. We get angry because we instinctively know we are valuable and are worth better treatment. Interestingly enough, our anger validates this sense of worth and value. As such, our angry emotions function as the guardians of our deepest values. This technique conditions us to instantly value ourselves more, when devalued. This eliminates the need to respond with resentment and anger toward the offending party. Once our deepest values are activated, we are able to make better choices of how to respond. We end up with a compassionate perspective toward ourselves and, also, toward the other person. From that perspective, we make choices that are in our and their long-term best interest. Rather than pushing that person away and becoming more disconnected, compassion moves us toward each other and strengthens our emotional connection. What could have resulted in distance and discouragement becomes greater intimacy and encouragement.
To make this response automatic requires a new way of thinking about ourselves and others and repetitive practice of the technique. We have found this approach 90% successful in transforming resentment and anger into compassion. Beyond the technique, a significant factor that increases its effectiveness is that it helps us see ourselves more clearly through the eyes of our loving Creator God. Factoring him into this transformation makes it even more powerful. We would love to work with those who want to transform their relationship marred by resentment and anger to a loving compassion,
Contact Brenton and Carol Mock, Christian counselors at https://.bcncccounseling.com/anger-management-to-compassion.